Kindly, Kayla

Romance? I Don’t Know Her.

As someone who has never experienced romantic love, it can feel like I’ve missed out on something that EVERYONE else has experienced.

It starts to make you question yourself.

What’s wrong with me?

Why haven’t I experienced the one thing that almost everyone else has?

There have been countless weddings and engagements, yet I’ve never had a boyfriend or even a date. (Younger me would be embarrassed to say this, but current me couldn’t care less.)

I mean, let me be frank. It’s not like I haven’t had an opportunity; it’s just that the opportunities I’ve had aren’t what I want them to be. Maybe it’s the romance books…..sue me for having high standards!!

But sometimes it feels like I’m waiting for something that won’t happen.

Other times, it feels like protection from God.

The latter is what I choose to believe.

I’ve heard countless horror stories of heartbreak, and how sometimes experiencing these traumatic relationships so young can make or break your outlook on future relationships. Millions of people are bringing baggage into new relationships and letting past relationships hurt affect new ones. And the cycle continues…. but we won’t get into that today.

Experiencing a relationship for the first time excites me and scares me at the same time. What if my lack of experience holds me back? Or what if my future boyfriend/spouse/husband has baggage and I don’t know how to deal with it? What does having a boyfriend even look like? What do you do? How often are you supposed to talk to/see each other? (I have so many questions LOL). Not knowing these things makes me feel like a teenager in a 24-year-old’s body sometimes.

But! Ultimately, I’ve concluded that God’s timing is perfect, and I feel grateful that I haven’t experienced it yet.

I’m done with overthinking if this random man of God I met on a random Tuesday is my future husband. (This is not specific, just an example LOL)

I trust that when it comes, it’ll be at the right time, with the right person. It’ll be easy and natural & I won’t have to force it.

In the meantime, I’ve found that letting God love me (and loving him back) is my #1 priority. Getting my master’s degree, spending time with friends and family, and loving them with the overflow of love that I have in my heart is what life looks like for me right now. And I’m learning to be okay with that.

If you’re in a similar place, I hope that this inspires you to commune with your Heavenly Father, who loves you so much. There are so many benefits to being single, Paul can attest to it! (He even thinks it’s better!!) But mainly being able to spend the majority of your time with God is something that you can’t get back once you have a spouse and children. So don’t take this time for granted. Let’s use it wisely.

“In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭34‬-‭35‬ ‭NLT‬‬

You are already so loved beyond measure.

Your relationship status does not and will never define your worth. The goal is not marriage. It’s to be like Christ.

Thank you so much for reading.

Kindly,

Kayla

P.S. I just want to say that it’s okay to desire a relationship/love/marriage. I’m not going to act like I don’t! I just wanted to share that it doesn’t have to consume our thoughts. There isn’t a specific timeline for experiencing love. We’re already loved SO much, and a relationship won’t fill that hole in your heart because it’s not something that a human can fix 🙂

P.S.S. I almost didn’t share this because it felt too vulnerable, but I decided that that’s the point of this blog. To be real and do it for the 20-something girlies (or guys) who feel the same way ♡