Kindly, Kayla 🌼

Lonely is a word that has always resonated with me.

As a child, I had friends, but I never felt known. I always felt like the odd one out. Even with my cousins, I felt like the awkward tall one who was still playing with dolls at 13 while they had already moved on to other things.

Throughout my adolescence, there were a few friends here and there who felt like my kind of people. But even then, I still felt that void deep down.

Looking back, I think this is where my love for reading developed. Being able to escape and get lost in different worlds, pretending that I was experiencing the things that the characters were experiencing, was comforting to me. It still is.

There’s a song called “Breathe” by DOE that puts this feeling into words so well:

Sometimes, I wanna tap out

Sometimes, I wanna take a break

These days, I wanna time out

These days, I wanna be fake

No one ever really knew me

But everyone says they know me

I wish I could introduce me

But I don’t really even know me

I’ve always longed for the friendships I saw in the Disney movies and shows growing up. When I got to middle school, I made the basketball team, and I was in the band, so I was constantly surrounded by people. But deep down, I always felt like I had to be someone else to fit in. Like going from having my Radio Disney app on repeat to suddenly having Chris Brown on repeat because that’s who my friends liked.

I had really high expectations for college, too. I thought that would be the place where things finally clicked for me. I got involved, joined organizations, even became the president of one, and yet… I still didn’t feel fulfilled. I was surrounded by people, but everything still felt surface-level. I was seen, but I didn’t feel truly known.

Not to mention I’ve been single for the past 25 years, so there’s that too lol!

Fast-forward to now, God has answered my countless prayers for good friends who are like me and like what I like. He’s given me people who feel like they were handpicked just for me. I’m so grateful, and I thank Him ever so often for that.

But I still feel lonely, and I feel it often.

At first, that confused me. Because I thought that once I had good friends, that feeling would finally go away. But I’m starting to realize that I’ve been looking for the wrong solution to my problem. At the end of the day, people will disappoint you. Not because they’re bad people, but because they’re human. No longer can I rely on other people to fill this void for me that they were never meant to fulfill.

If you know me, you know that I’ve been on this journey of quitting social media. And I’m starting to understand why it’s been such a back-and-forth struggle. I leave the platforms because I can’t stand the mental overload and stress they give me, but I always end up going back because, in a way, it makes me feel less alone. Seeing people’s lives, the daily updates, and the interactions made me feel like I wasn’t invisible and that I was involved in this online community.

But even that is surface-level.

People didn’t truly know me; they only knew what I chose to show. And I only knew what they chose to show as well. Social media creates this false sense of connection without any real depth.

So after sitting with all these thoughts, I’m realizing something. Instead of running from this loneliness and using other people, social media, and distractions to fill the void, I want to seek God in it. I want to put Jesus in His rightful place in my life, drawing from the overflowing well of His love and care.

Because no human can fill this void. I truly believe that God uses loneliness to draw us closer to Him. Not to hurt us, but to remind us that the thing we’re searching for can only be found in Him. No friendship can carry that weight, no relationship, and not even a husband.

Scriptures to Meditate on When You Feel Lonely 💗

We can look to Jesus when we feel lonely. Isaiah 53:3 (NIV) says this about Him: “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces, he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”

This reminds us that we have a Savior who understands rejection, pain, and loneliness firsthand.

There’s something deeply comforting about that. Knowing we don’t follow a Savior who is distant from our experiences, but one who walked through them Himself. (Hebrews 4:15-16) And because of that, we can trust Him with our own feelings of loneliness and learn from the way He endured and stayed faithful to the Father.

With that in mind, here are a few Scriptures for times of loneliness:

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:23-26 NIV

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NIV

“The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my afflictions and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.” Psalm 25:14-18 ESV

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” James 4:8 ESV

This last one is one of my favorites:

139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
² You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
³ You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
⁵ You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

⁷ Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
¹² even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

¹³ For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

Psalm 139:1-18 ESV

Jesus fully knows me and fully sees me, and despite everything He sees, He still loves me. And the same goes for you.

So if you’re feeling lonely, I pray this post reminds you that you are not alone in what you feel, and more importantly, that you are truly never alone.

Thank you so much for being here and reading my blog posts!!

Kindly,

Kayla

P.S. Here’s the song I mentioned earlier. It’s one of my favorites 🙂